I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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