i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
