she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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