I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
