Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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