Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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