she woke up with a sticky ear
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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