it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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