Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
