I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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