Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
What a dumb baby whore.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
