he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
