Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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