Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
