The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
