Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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