I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
