PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
