I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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