I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
