I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
