you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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