so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
