Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
