Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
