I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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