I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm both gender and math confused
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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