Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize