After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
