put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
