literally had 100 drinks last night.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
