I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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