I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
