You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Dick very happy bro
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
