Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize