How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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