how hairy? two words: wookie tits
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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