I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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