I'm lost and stupid without you.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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