Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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