remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
