I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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