i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
