I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
