I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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