Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
