somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i think i scared a bird with my dick
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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