put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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