Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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