the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
