Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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