If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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