I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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