god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
