I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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