I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
