I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
