I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
