the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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