Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
