You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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