we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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