at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize