My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
