Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
