dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
