Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
