I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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