I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im holly from the hills drunk
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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