We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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