Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
