Me too!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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