Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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