Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
