went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
This house was built for laser tag.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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