Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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